The Rain.

The horses neighs on being pulled by their reins, life needs a RAIN to achieve the calmness in a the fast rat race.

I love walking in the Rain. I love believing that its the best place to shed your tears whence you have no one to fall back upon. It wipes your tears, washed your face, feeds you cool; Soul and Body; and then above all you cry in this space without letting any one know and consequently taking advantage on that.


I dont know how to deal with the matters that come up now ad again, but the only thing that I know, is fire ravaging the plains of my heart and soul, charring my whole existence at the moment. ONLY I can help the situation to cool down, but I need my very close friend: THE RAIN. The Rain God seems wary of my home city. Its dusty and dry with another "d", the death looming hot over the pedestrians. I feel pressed up and squeezed out of life, standing unlit beside the Roadside fence, unable to light up at Dusk!



I despise myself some times. I despise my understanding sometimes. Only water seems my death bed. like the white pelican or swan!

The Yo! Yo!

The fading memories beams out fresh in the tired mind, where the neurons have nothing else to do, but extract the juice from the past and rejuvenate. What happened to the info-media? There are lots of programs on the channel! How about watching movie in a power cut? That too in our house and the one beside and others enjoy the various soaps in the various channels all over. Pathetic!

It was way back in my Montessori days, I guess in 1988. I went out with my grand mom to a relative's place. My mom had certain daily chores to complete, before she can go to the market to buy something or the other! [What was it, I dont remember].

Back then, most of the locality were fed with Direct Current (DC). Hence, power failure was a daily bread and butter for us. It was a hot evening, as far as I could remember and with the dusk was followed by the night fast, myself and grandmom made our way back.

We hoped that mom had returned, but some how the floor was darkened and she seemed not to be back. Dad was also not at home. So, taking the small steps, I led the way, holding grand mom's hand. [I loved doing that, something that fetched me a local pet name, Granny's Stick!]

When we reached the third floor, pitched dark, I felt little nervous. Normal, I must say. Then out of nowhere there was a streak of light that seemed like an "egg" (back then, but now enriched with science, I can say it was vertically elliptical) The flash took place once! Then again, after an interval. I was so nervous that I could, but jump onto my Granny's feet, crouching her like a magnet, crouching the iron frame!

My granny, 57 years back then, just couldnt hold me tight. She was slightly disbalanced, when the floor was lighted and I saw my mom standing in the middle of all the "nuisance". She had bought a lighted Yo Yo, which when spun, got lighted! It shone, like a ghost ray amidst pitch dark!

Today with my Nokia 6300 blinking with warning signal for a missed call or a sms, I seldom fear a dark blink. But that day was scaringly beautiful, a memory well cherished and wish they did come back...!

Nature TM

Natural Beauty and Studio Set-Up might seem analogous in the lens, but in truth, nature is for the longer run, while studio is dynamically changing. A known accepted Old Ragged concept.

But when you sit at the sea shore, trying to draw your name on the wet sand, hoping that the waves will not erase them at least once, drawing it deep...very very deep, trying to keep the waves at bay, building small dikes around your name, can you keep the water over run the name for long? One try, two try.... it washed the name from the "face of the earth", practically. Does that justify the sea to be malice?!

The sky seems blue, covering up the stars and the nebulae. At night, the transparency embeds millions of "diamonds in the sky". Ethereal, but standing in the open field, you can have a look no better that out there in the cosmos. But enjoy it on the ground, why? Because of transparency.

Relationships should pay such an attention. Irony to what you say would justify you to be called a crooked minded person. God knows and save the Ryan, but what man thinks is induced by you. Only you can change and no one can. I have a work at hand, and never mind my blog, for it's no more as interesting as it was few weeks back! (I guess)!!!

Happy Fourth Anniversary

June 3rd, 2006:

I started the blog, getting inspired by many of my friends. Finding no other means, I just fitted in something, which I was both the student as well as teacher. I wrote something on Pace Maker Tissue of the Heart. With aspiration in heart to become a life science teacher and thriving at the pinnacle of tutor success, this topic did fit the occassion perfectly.
Marking 2006 as a bench mark to describe my ambition, it takes just four years to shape life. In between, the blog has encountered many names, starting from Somnath's World to Alleys of the Twisted Brain, to Random Thoughts; this now rests and hopefully will retain and justify it's name of Canonical Cacophony.

June 3rd, 2009:

I was busy fixing deals with international clients, never even having the streak of becoming a school teacher and a private tutor left in my approach. An average working man, with big dreams. Something like investing in a Bar is always on the Cards! So, my friends who do have a similar intention, budding "RESTAURANT CHAIN" owners, don't keep a spec of doubt within yourself that the proposer of this concept will turn his fat butt away from you.

Its would always been a great deal if I had pursued a PhD in Cancer Biology, but interesting part is, I am enjoying the adventure of my job. I always knew that I am flexible and can perform any job within time, in spite of having my style and pace in brewed in it. I am enjoying something which I seldom know: INTERNATIONAL TRADE! And mind it, I think I am going at a very good pace!

After a long gap, I happened to stumble onto the show of my Iconic Entrepreneur, Mr. D. Trump. I was watching the Celebrity Apprentice show aired on Star World, tonight. Someday, I even dreamt of walking the path of Mr. Trump. May be that is too far a though, luke Mr. Patterson, I can say : AIM FOR THE STARS AND REACH THE MOON. May be, a National Player wont be a bad deal for this life I guess!!!

The Blues of Midnight.

I have become an insomniac for the past one and a half years. Reasons may be different, but the truth is sleep eludes me till 3AM or 4AM at times. All Indian Standard Timing. A few days back, I was standing in my little roadside facing balcony, trying to look over the sleeping souls on the streets, the ones whose daily living is from the roadside tea stall to the pulling the hand carts in the day time through the bustling streets of Taltala, Calcutta, India. Now it was so silent. The occasional flights taken by the crows who seemed perplexed with the sight of me, a great fat mass standing in the balcony! (Come On! Its time to sleep and for Us to pee... ), that is what they might have been crowing at me!
I had a different thought in my mind. I wanted to observe the night sky. It was crystal clear... ironic.. with twinkling stars and the Moon was clearly visible. It was a whole white disk, blazing in her own rightful glow... cold. Many beggars look up at it trying to eat it, thinking it to be a burnt chappati...only if they could..they would have. But in that moon light, with some of the street lights off service due to a underground cable snag, I viewed a soft gleam of an event, for which only night can show!
Three ragamuffins, wearing torn clothes... complete tatterdemalions in true defination, tore over the left overs of the night that a nearby restruant had for them. I never saw them before, even in the faintest of the moonlight and the partial shadows created by the high rises (where many children and their parents lay asleep with their stomach filled), I could see their faces. Their sclera glowed white, prominent from their dirt laden eyelines...
Felt like calling on them... but I know they would run away... and soon they did..after they had soem guests at their table... the street dogs came to the party, only to displace the three..for they were five bullies...
The moon was cold... same like the brown and burnt chappati, may in the poor rag's imagination, only if they could imagine amidst the atrocities of life.

My Shadow...

Interesting.
I am posting something after a really long time, after my standard of almost regularly updating. I admit that for the past few days I have been really busy with a lot of applications and other stuff! More over, for the past two days I havent been online from home, coz my computer's SMP blew off!!! (not literally)
But agains, certain things happen for your own betterment. Ask why?
The two day's forced exile from the cyber world let me fall back on certain tools of entertainment and murdering tools to kill time. My article diaries, the last article I wrote was in Novermber 2004. About five years old! I read to some of those un kempt articles that came out from my figments of imagination! Those were my Presidays... a time when everything was vibrantly changing it's meaning and colours!
Then I came across the testimonials that my Presi mates hav so carefully compiled for me. I revisited my past... the way I was and today the more composed individual that I am! Khotu (Kasturi), Pagli (Sayantani), Giggs (Charmi), Black Beauty (Sunandini), Chari (Sanchari), Suku (Sukesh)... they all wrote many pieces of incidents and good verses to let me rethink being a better human being! A less Chap-taking individual and less Angry man! Today I look back those roots!

Some excerpts:
Khotu: " SOB SOB SOB It was Saturday in the month of December. It was the first movie we saw together. it was KAL HO NA HO. Thanks for making us watch it Somnath. (Bengali) You cried so much during the movie. ... I had always thought that it was totally unmasculine and unchivalrous for a guy to cry, but seeing you that day... I changed my opinion and realised Crying is only an Outlet of your Supressed feelings..."

Pagli: " (Bengali) ... Amrita and myself boarded down at Cetral Metro. I was confident to get back to college, for it was a challenge that I, although knew less of the streets at this place can make it without you. But we didnt. We went the opposite way and realised the mistake, just to take a U turn and get back on the right track! Felt dejected! Felt angry! Hence smsed you, telling that it might be little tough, but we can make it. We made it! Then you were busy teaching, but when you came free, you rang up! I expected that you will be angry with such an sms! Instead you laughed! I could have been more angry with the humiliation, when you said something that made me realise that a true Teacher at heart can and only can he mention such: "First time it happens like that! A few days you be with me, walk around and not ride your car, you will learn each and every nook of the city! Thats a promise. May be this is a real teacher...in truest sense!"

Giggs: " We ( I mean u and me), get hurt easilyby other peoples' behaviour and have been victim by ourselves... do u know, I believe we shoudl care for ones who care for you...I do do, and would advise you to do so! This will help misunderstanding others a little less! Talking of misunderstanding, I remembered one more good quality in you! When ever you had a problem with anyone, you came forward in clearing it with that person face to face! Rarely does anyone have courage to do it!"

Black Beauty: " U know what Somnath, u are a really good and true person. But you forget the basic rules at times. I kow that you never mean to hurt anyone, but it is necessary to be conscious of your act, as the person who is getting hurt is your friend nah?!! So be cautious next time. You might get better friends, but you might not get a second chance later!

Chari: " Another thing - it is good to care about people, butmake sure you donot become a laughing stalk of the people. You really donot deserve that. You have a lot to give but dont squander it away on people who are unworthy or who find it un -necessary. You have a lot, doesnt necessarily mean that you wast all those away!

Suku: " 1) Please dont take un-necessary responsibilities. It will destroy you and your feelings... whu are you doing this?
6) Sometimes you want to move before time. Please dont do this!!!"

I dont know why I wrote these... but I think, these small words have been my shadow, and its always good to appreciate shadows for without them, your visibility is incomplete!

Getting Entangled.

Its always very interesting to watch people around you, something many people boast of achieving a tough task easily, i.e reading faces or face reading. But how about listening to what the emotions say, and act accordingly or prevent thinking with a pipe vision. My friend J along with B came along near my place with lot of expectations have a small अड्डा while they would be completing their much prejudiced work! I was on my way, when one of their mobiles started to knock my caller tune. It was B, with a news. The National Eligibility Test (NET) have been published a moment ago and that B has achieved his goal, but our beloved J couldn't. The previous hour, I had a small talk with J as to where were they and when would I avail my self. He was totally excited, magnanimous to amount (if any Scale can measure it) for we were meeting after a couple of weeks gap!

When I reached the place, that magnanimosity had disappeared. There was a tone of dejection in his voice and although B had succeeded, we just couldn't manage to give him a warm hug and congratulate, for the interlinked feeling was too strong in our friend circle. Other days, I would have easily named my friends, but today i decided to conceal them. Even if you can understand whom I am talking about, please refrain yourself from naming them. Its another entangle that we all get in, everyday, minute and second. Hard life..Hard ways!

(Pic Courtesy: http://www.knitwareblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/orange-abstract-art.jpg)

Holi Hain.

"When the colours of Blood,

Splatter around the Globe.
Blisters marking the Memories,
Tasting like the bitter Gourd.
When hopelessness grabs Eternity,
Ill-beauty of Brains kills Sanity.
The Colours of Rainbow,
Be it Blue,
Green or Yellow.
Celebrates the Life that Creates all Burdens,
India cries with Colours of Love,
Celebrates Humanity with the World,
Turning the Black Smoke from the Rested Nozzles,
Into puffs of Pink, Red or Maroon.
Holi Comes every Year,
To touch us all...
In heart, mind or bosom.
Let's Celebrate Life for Once...
For its a rare Chance!"

by, Somnath Paul. 11/3/09.

Happy Holi.

Thought of Starting the Post # 263 with this small self composed Poetry. Today is Holi, or Festival of Colours as it known to most. It is celebrated in the true sense of making life colourful. With the yield of new crop from the fields and the common man getting the fuel to drive the coming days, Holi celebrates the notion of Colourful Life. Very few festivities in the World does celebrate Life. Starting from sadness to joy, each emotion of human beings can be described with colours! For example, Saint Valentine paints the World with Pink and Red on 14th Feb every year. Terrorists splatter red and brings the Black in many regions! Victory is celebrated with the joyous Yellow and so is fertility. Guests are welcomed with the Violet Gown, and saint hood is achieved with Saffron. A nuptial right is best tied in White, signalling the ability to wear any colour in coming years together, weathering every storm with Mr. Right beside! In Hindu Wedding the power of the red powder, called "SINDOOR" calls for the strenghth a husband delivers in his Life Partner.

Colour is everywhere. The Indians Celebrate this. Since the time of Mahabharat, Lord Krishna celebrated Holi in Mathura, whose tales are known by all Indians and thanks to ISKON, the words spread all over the world today! Rabindranath Tagore's Shanti-Niketan celebrates the Day as BasanthaUtsav, where a whole galore of Cultural Programmes take place starting from Rabindra Sangeet to Dramatisations and Troupe Dances. The Beauty of the Festival there is that the colour Yellow, the Colour of Joy smudges everybody's heart, body and soul!

( Basanta Utsav: http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8AAQdpidJA8/R_MDg_awtaI/AAAAAAAAAKo/jWtJsnI97SQ/basanta058.JPG )

Celebrate Life, for its very rare thing to find!

An Account of SIX Years.

Six years enough time to alter a whole cabinet of ministers and change the members of the House of Commons by a simple press of the thumb. And in these six years, many scribbles in red ink just managed to get through my scanning eyes, looking for perfection in academics. Come April, and I shall complete my sixth year as an academician, a profession that let me earn quite before my friends did. If I remember properly, I've been the first person of my School batch who opted for earning after completing my high school examination. (But if examined closely, I was second after Debojyoti who, as I had heard, was in the profession since we were in standard NINE). Even before the results came out, I got involved in the profession and my first ever student was a XIth standard girl from CGHS, Miss Aditi Ghosh who by blood relations was my aunt! What a way to start off!!!
It was April 2003. By the end of 2003 I was harnessing six students, yielding my pocket money and education fees, which was required given to the dry financial input of my family at the time.
Till date, the Golden Years in the proffession started from the year 2004 when I used to leave the house in the morning at 10AM for my college and after finishing off my classes and other commitments, I went to my students' places to do my coachin. I returned back home at 10:30PM- 11PM time span. Except for Sundays, the schedule was like this, and on the holiday, I started from 7AM- 9PM. I boasted to grooming 29 students from classes 4 to 12, various boards and various subjects, ranging between Biology-Physics-Chemistry-Maths. This Golden era continued till 2006, but after I came into post graduations I myself cut off few tuitions for my commitments in higher studies.
Today I miss those busy days. At home, I feel bored to the extreme. At present I have 12 students, and hope to get back to my Golden Schedule by the year end, for I need that! After all my friends are having a glorious day at their office, and I seem to be dragged behind somewhere!
Some one rightfull said, "You are running behind money too much that one day when you will stand to rest, you will feel restless. The simple reason being, you are standing to rest! Stop running so much!" But, I can't help. Can I? Do I have any option? I guess I enjoy teaching... sometimes I feel like doing a B.Ed and start teaching, which would give me proffessional and monetary satisfaction!!! I need them!

Say as If

When it comes to elaborating one's emotion, it is always a tough job to cope up with, something that is seldom understood. The other day, I was having a chat with my friend over the phone. I asked B as to what she would prefer in a mood which was completely remorseful at the moment. She said that she would like to be at a place where there is sand, coconut trees, a lagoon whose waters will be sea green. The golden sand would have nooks of moss enveloped all over the including the tiny pebbles that was once ivory white. Then I asked, what more? With an agile leap, she popped her desire to have a small hut, where there would b no one to disturb her. She paused, and I took the opportunity to paint some objects in her canvas of desire. I put in a small hammock, with her swinging on it, the shadows of the palm tree leaves would be playing hide and seek onto her eyes, keeping the Rays of the Sun around her and not one her.

The sole target was to let feel at ease, trying to paint the desire into pseudo reality. I have always seen that it is the best way to relax, which can beat the best of the best Spa massage or the most erotic movies! Happiness, sadness, anger, etc are all emotions. I know you know that! But what you don't know and that I know is that in most cases we mix them up. We try to resolve them with equipments and tactics known to us. And the recipient side gets the wrong signal of no intent from the former side. Then sets in all sorts of problem. Understanding, which was believed to be on the strongest grounds suddenly falters over the fence! It becomes really hard to reconcile and come to terms with the situation. It requires calmness at helm to overcome such a predicament of what to do and what not to do!

Voicing my Inner feelings..

Sometimes I feel so at lost. Sometimes everything seems so under control. And many a times I feel blank, able to do a lot, scripting many success stories, staying witness to a few hundreds but when it boils down to me, I stand all blank at the witness box. Its a hard feeling, a constant knock from the head that makes my heart throttle under immense pressure. Heaps from the options, when I opted for one, staying put, doing idle few works kills me.
I dont know if some maths went wrong or is it my tendency to feel the wall on my back before I race towards success. I dont know. My fortune shouts "Speak d not!" and I fall back to the self same caccoon, a place where no one has ever seen me doing anything or even felt the coldness in there. May be I will not let anyone to feel that coldness. All my friends are better off by this time. Even in the time of recession God has been great to my ears by not bringing in any news of my friend getting fired from their livelihood. The Banshees have not been crying out the newspapers.
Presently I have two more options at hand... again options...! NET and BANKING. I dont know what will happen, but one thing I am sure off, is that by the end of this year I will have a very very good news to post in this blog... Thats a promise to all my bloggers... atleast I am trying 100% of it.

Simple... I am Happy....

We all try to find out the trick to be happy. Well, "Its simple to be happy, but very difficult to be simple." Today while coming back from my student's house, I looked at an incidence that knocked my realization of what is simple? Simplicity in Character? Or there is something more in it? A family, looked to be below average waged people, husband-wife, three daughters, almost of same age, not more than five years boarded the bus. They took the seat just before mine. Luckily I had my headphones off, for I would then have been very unlucky to miss this. The man was remorsing about his bad health but again the fact that he has to get back to the building site the next day, which he was not feeling like looking at his health. His wife with caring smile asked him to take a day off, but he said that he cant afford or else his daily wage would be deducted! (They needed money, was what the eyes said.)
In the mean time, the youngest sister burst the balloon that she was carrying. She started crying, and immediately the attention focused back onto her. All the wrinkles on the man's face, all the materialistic words that came out from his lips and heart and ailing body turned into a "unscripted" rhythm, "oooliiee ulluuuu baba...shona..na na...chuk chuk..." and the crying princess after two minutes started to laugh with her under developed teeth, just looking at her dad's face and hearing a very familiar dialect, which she could understand. The man's face took the most beautiful turn around, and all his wrinkles concentrated at the corner of his lips with a giggle, for his princess was smiling. He seemed happy...may be a happiness that is past all materialism...
May be being simple means something more than character, thoughts, etc. You all may disagree to my terms, but again what counts is that those unscripted words in an unmaterialistic manner means more than they expresses to us.
We run too fast, in the race to out-run our souls. Is that possible? Now that's the pertaining question! I am thinking... are you?

Job Crisis, a Socio-Economical Mayhem.

It started in the middle of 2007, when the Lehman Brothers, the world's supposedly second largest bank, closed its subprime lenders. In 2008, the fear was triggered with the collapse and bankrupcy of the same bank, creating a global economic melt down. The NIFTY, DOW-JONES, HANSEN were the biggest hit including the other national and international markets. The SENSEX made a dramatic ascent into the 20,000 point mark, but just like the dramatic peak, it fell below 10,000 mark within a week. With each and every asset down, the bankers panicked, making a panick call to sell shares and that did let to further fall the market price. The pandemonium set in a new kind of terror. Job security.
Wall Street broke down creating a collapse all over the world. Jobs were at stake. It was reported that this phase is one of the largest hit financial phases in the World Financial History. The UNO associated ILO (International Labour Organisation) reports that by the end of 2009 we can see some 50 million jobs been sacked all over the world carrying the number of jobless people 210 million. Be it a super power or a third world nation, this job crunch is to be felt in everybody.
What can be the result of this Job Crisis?

JOBLESS would create increased avenues for social crimes, starting from loots to murder. The unrest against the administration by the labour class could show some of the most unwanted stagnancy in the industries. The death rate due to suicidal attempts would increase. The national as well as bank asset values would be on a rise, similarly as the crude oil prices takes up its wings and gets soaring high. An inflation of 6% have been predicted in the price of crude oil by the end of the year and that would result in an increase of the purified automobile oils. The transportation cost hike would be reflected on the increase in the price of the things that depends on transportation like medicines, food, etc. To counter the price rise, the nodal agents would be planning for a new rise and the cycle would cummulate a huge rise of prices. It is estimated that the price at the customer end may range with a hike between 7-9% by December 2009.
To prevent their jobs from being sacked down, the people all around the world are working 24 hours. Its like the Red Queen Hypothesis, where each one is running behind each other so as to provide a better service, and try to evolve according to the demands. If not, then you will be sacked so that the fittest survive. The other option is that since all the jobs that have been sacked, especially in India, has been maximally private instituitional jobs, hence the new era students are taking back to the general studies and enter the government aided jobs.

What is hopeful, is that this unemployement scenario would be better than what it was during the 1930's Great Depression.

What's Next?

POST # 214.

After GRE, its now the fag end of December, 2008. Most of my pals have taken their share of NET this Dec, 2008. Now with a score that is le reckoning, and a very reckoning TOEFL in the mixture, it feels to suffocated and at the edge of sheer discomfort, I sit down to think... What's Next?
For the moment, its festive season, and more so its winter here in Kolkata. And it has been a cheerfully chilling season in the last 10 years. The thought to enjoy the life sets in with the extra punch of Cappucino with the occasional concotion of Bloody Mary or Save the Private Ryan, or may be on the rocks, a peg of Peter Scot. The nose grows red, the ears steam and the palate flood with the thought, leave aside writting.
And then.....?
It will be 1st January 2009. To me, it now seems that some plan have gone haywire! The barbs are really prickly to touch. They are cold, and shockingly painful. The inputs of the Christmas nor the New year has had any affect on the coming new year. It will be faced coldly. Private tuitions dont fulfill the demands of the future. The application process too is quite far fetched. A thought that nurses itself within the nursery of no hope? Bull Shit? Its no time to think like that. But what can a sole being think out when he is totally empty and life's smile, too, is down into the unknown blacks!
I cry...... till I smile!

Aguner porosh moni.

The touch of fire....

In hinduism, after death, the body is burnt and the soul is made to abode the heavenly chariot whose path is traced out by the rising fire. In one of the short stories by one of Bengali literature's emminent author, Shri Saratchandra Chattopadhyay's creation named "Abhagir Swarga", the heaven for the ill lucked woman. The description of the heavenly path, carved by the rising flares and the fumes from the wooden funeral stack made the woman's son stare towards the heaven with the wish that had he been able to fulfil his poor mother's last wish.

The touch of fire completes one life cycle, and its ready to take up the next challenge, which the ancient Egyptians termed as Afterlife while the Buddhist claim as Complete Freedom of the life cycle and attain Moksha. Life is just about half the way round the circle. Its still another half to move along. May be by the time the breath holds up its rythm, I would have seen a lot of drama in this world. May be then life would be complete. But what about the desire to make it complete now! What would be lost if it is achieved now? One thing one can achieve or gain is a completion of the cycle. Can that be possible?